20 Things I Wish I Knew in My 20s
So this is the year we celebrate my 30th birthday.
For me, it’s both exciting and nostalgic to enter a new season of life. When I turned 20, all I could think about was my 21st birthday. When I turned 10, (or finally entered double digits as my Mom would say), I couldn’t wait until I was finally 13. For the first time, at the cusp of a new decade, I’m looking forward to just being 30.
In honor of my birthday, here are 20 things I wish I knew in my 20’s.
20 Things I wish I knew in my twenties
Advice for my younger self.
If he wants to, he will. When it comes to relationships, you’ll know if he cares about you. It took me a major heartbreak to realize that the right man won’t leave you feeling insecure, unattended to, or under valued.
It’s ok to not know what you want to do - it’s not ok to neglect trying to figure it out. I remember hating the question, “What are your plans after graduation,” because I didn’t know. But I, unfortunately, let the fear of not having everything figured out paralyze me from exploring new opportunities. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t trade my career path, but I certainly wasted time being afraid.
You’re not as busy as you think you are. And you’re certainly not too busy to call your mom or answer a text from your long-distance friend. You’ll never regret spending time making a connection with the people you love.
Prioritize your health. You can’t pour from an empty cup. Visit your doctor, dentist, OBGYN, etc. Take medicine if you’re not feeling well. Don’t be a hero, get help if you need it.
Nobody cares as much about your wedding as you do. While it's absolutely one of the most special times in your life, time doesn’t stop for the people around you. Try to remember that when making requests of your family and friends.
Truly listening is the key to connection. I always seem to have a lot to say. I actually pride myself on giving good advice, but that’s often not what someone needs from me. Just listen. You also don’t have to relate everything back to your own personal experience.
Ask for what you want. It’s unfair to expect the people around you to read your mind. Ask for the things you want from your employer and in your relationships. You’re not going to inconvenience anyone by making your desires known. Just be prepared for people to tell you, “no.”
Buy clothes that fit. This one seems obvious, but I’m still guilty of hanging onto old clothes in hopes that I’ll fit into them again. It weighs on your mental health. You’ll feel more confident in investing in clothes that fit, rather than striving to fit into that bodycon dress you wore to Winter Formal in 2013.
knowledge is power when it comes to reproductive health
In my experience, 8th Grade health class didn’t cover all the facets of a woman’s cycle. I hardly knew anything about ovulation until we started trying to have children and that made the process more difficult for us.
You don’t have to finish your food or drinks. It’s ok to leave a half-empty beer at the bar if you’re done. You don’t have to finish the entire portion at dinner if you’re full. Just because you bought it (or someone else did), doesn’t mean you’re obligated to finish.
Making your bed really does set the tone for a productive day. Don’t ask me why, but it works.
Financial literacy in your 20s is so important. For me, my 20s were when I made the most money with the least amount of financial responsibilities. Start saving for retirement, invest, work on building your credit. Your 30-year-old-self will thank you when they don’t feel behind.
Stop washing your hair every day. This takes time and patience, but it is one of the best things you can do to grow healthy, thick hair.
Drink less to reduce your anxiety. I spent way too many Sundays with a certified case of the “scaries” due to the amount of alcohol I had the two nights before.
Find something you enjoy doing alone - and make time to do it. This one is for all the mothers reading this post. I’m still experimenting with different activities, but I am in pursuit of finding things I love to do by myself. Alone time isn’t something we get all the time, so make every moment count.
In marriage, be intentional with your time together.
After having kids, this one is even more important. Time is valuable, so start treating it that way. It sounds cliche, but keep dating your spouse. A strong marriage is the best thing you can give to your children.
Encourage independence in your children and in your spouse. It’s ok for them not to need you all the time. It’s ok (and actually good) for him to spend time with his friends.
Find your faith and seek it above all else. Still struggling with this one but I can definitely say God has pulled me out of my darkest times. I think that no matter what you believe in, you have to seek something larger than yourself to truly find happiness.
Admit when you’re wrong. Ah, humility. It’s never been my strong suit but there have been so many instances where so much pain and conflict could have been avoided if I would have simply said that I was wrong.
And last but not least, celebrate the little stuff. If there’s one thing I’ve learned from Chris’ family, it’s that you don’t need a birthday or engagement to have a party. Some of the best memories we’ve created have been celebrating a new front door (I’m serious) or a homecoming after someone returns from a two-week vacation.
Putting these all together has been such a great exercise for me. If you’re coming up on a marquee birthday, I highly recommend putting together a list like this.
Thank you for reading!
XO,
Meg